This Years Love
by Ayshen
Summary: An unlikely duo is drawn to each other, realizing they have much more in common then they ever could have imagined. In a year will they be able to heal the cracks in each other's hearts? Naudia COMPLETE
1. June New Horizons

**A/N: I officially love Naudia. This is the start of a story inspired by David Gray's ****This Years Love. ****It starts in June 2008 (hence me repeating some of what has happened on the show with tweaks) and will span a year…hope you enjoy!**

Claudia Zacchara couldn't tell you how many men sexual partners she had…where, why, their last names She couldn't tell you how many men she had let touch her body, how many times she had faked it, how many times she scrubbed her body afterwards, or how many drinks it took to drown out the pain. . Sex was usually used as a way to a means for her…nameless, faceless partners mutually benefiting something.

However, what she could tell you was the first time she made love it was in a castle with a Prince.

_June 2008_

_Weight on my shoulders  
But I'm walking so tall  
Out into the new horizon  
Wonder in everything  
No matter how great or small  
Howlin' like the midnight  
Howlin' like the midnight sun  
And this ain't no pale reflection  
This is the real thing  
New horizon  
New horizon within_

"Welcome to the home of the Emily Bowen-Quartermaine Free Clinic" he said smiling as she followed him in.

Claudia walked through the buildings doors and twirled, "wow, you're really doing it," she said smiling.

He liked to watch her; he felt a pang of guilt about it…but he couldn't help it; watching her, being around her made some of that pain in his soul seem bearable.

"Yes, well, there is obviously a lot of work to be done but I think it is something Emily had wanted to do for a long time"

_And your heart ain't yours to control  
No matter how tight the reigns  
Love will find it's own direction  
A time to reap, a time to sow  
And many a time to cry in vain  
But now the time to celebrate  
The glory of this imperfection  
Same thing that's scrawled across the stars  
Is written under our skin  
New horizon  
New horizon within_

She turned to him her dark eyes softened, "you're a real stand up guy Nikolas Cassadine"

Smiling at her and shaking his head, "and you Miss Zacchara are the perpetual charmer"

Instead of a response she cocked an eyebrow and changed the subject, "so…I'm guessing a setup like this is costing you a pretty penny"

"Money well spent"

"Well…are you accepting charitable contributions?" she asked.

He shook his head "I don't need-"

"I know you don't need…I want, please" she asked looking at him with that glint in her eye.

Nikolas Cassadine had liked pretty much perpetually good girls…flawed, but usually good in nature. Even Gia with all her spunk and fire was never actually labeled a bad girl. Claudia Zacchara was a whole different story…everyone in town had warned him away from her…and yet he couldn't seem to hear them.

"It is a very generous offer but I cannot accept your money"

The softness in her eyes left, "if you think I am offering you blood money and that I want to use your clinic as a front you couldn't be more wrong" she said before turning on her heel to walk away.

His hand caught her arm and he spoke soft but firm, "the thought never crossed my mind;"

A smile started to curl on her lips, "good"

"This is my last gift to Emily, because of that I must insist on doing it on my own"

"I respect that Mr. Cassadine…until we meet again" she said before flashing him one last smile and bouncing off.

Shaking his head he wandered back into the warehouse.

**OOoOoOoOoOo**

Her Penthouse doors opened to Lulu sitting on her couch flipping through a magazine. She started to push the closed button in an effort to avoid the young blond but Lulu was already standing up and approaching.

"Good you are here, I want to talk to you about staying away from my brother" she said hands perched on hips.

Nikolas walked around the warehouse making mental notes and bouncing ideas off an unusually quiet Nadine.

"Are you sleeping with Claudia Zacchara?" she finally spoke making his breath catch in

His throat.

**OOoOoOoOoOo**

Claudia rolled her eyes, "and if I don't, what are you going to do about it, _little girl?_"

When no response came Claudia walked out of the elevator and stalked around her like she was prey, "if I decide to straddle Nikolas in the middle of Downtown Port Charles, it will be OUR decision…not yours…so run along Little LooLoo and go play with Barbie's or something"

The younger woman smirked, "Nikolas is a Prince and once he realizes the skank you are, the sooner he will put you on the curb with the other trash"

As much false bravado as Claudia Zacchara had she couldn't deny the prickles she felt pierce her skin from the comment. Instead of putting her emotions on display she offered a patronizing smile and responded, "kind of like when Johnny realizes that a piece of ass isn't worth all the drama"

Walking into the elevator she waved at the girl, "have a nice day LooLoo"

**OOoOoOoOoOo**

Nikolas didn't respond; instead decided to take a walk around the property. When he came back Nadine was there.

"I'm sorry, it's none of my business if you are sleeping with Claudia"

"That's right…it's not" came from the doorway Claudia had just entered.

His cell phone started to buzz and he looked down noting the contractor's number was illuminated on the LCD screen.

"I will be right back," he told both the women before turning and flipping the phone open.

Claudia looked at the younger woman, "you really shouldn't ask a man if he is sleeping with another woman…it makes you look, _desperate_"

"Whatever" Nadine answered before rolling her eyes.

"You think you're fooling anyone blondie? Like everyone doesn't see the goo-goo eyes you are making at him? Too bad he is so out of your league" she told her widening her eyes at the end of the statement.

Nadine felt the blood begin to boil under her skin and she shot back, "yeah and you are? Women like you don't get men like Nikolas, sure, maybe for a night or two…until he realizes that trash belongs on the curb"

Through gritted teeth she practically growled, "you don't know me sweetie, and if Nikolas and I want each other…there's nothing Nurse Nadine could do to stop it"

The younger woman turned hands on his ready to strike back when Nikolas came back in, "did I miss something?" he asked looking at them.

When neither answered he clapped his hands, "very well then…there is a lot of work to be done"

Claudia smiled, "I was going to ask you to come to the Haunted Star with me tonight…but I can see you are busy…another time" she finished smiling at him.

He couldn't explain the way his breath caught whenever she flashed that smile at him…not the one that she used to manipulate…sure she gave him that a couple of times…but he liked the real one…the one where for a second she forgot that she was Claudia Zacchara.

**OOoOoOoOoOo**

She knew the venture to the Haunted Star was a mistake. Johnny was there with LooLoo, Sonny was throwing back shots at the bar and then there was Jerry who had spotted her and was now glaring. Instead of staying for the fireworks show she threw back the glass of champagne and left.

Part of her expected him to follow her.

"Now darling…did you really think it was a good idea of wander on the docks alone at night, did you?" he asked lurking out of the shadows.

Turning to him she sneered.

"Oh why the frown, the last time we were here we had such a smashing time"

"Stay away from me…and Johnny"

He laughed at her request then spoke, "Oh love…but I can't do that. You see, we share this little secret…and I know that you want me dead. However, I must be honest…I have documents that go straight to my attorney upon my death…and darling you see they tell every little sordid detail of your connection with the shooting of little Michael Corinthos. So if you value your life, you will do as I say"

When he finished he was merely inches away and his hands grasped her arms tightly pulling her torso to his. Slowly he leaned towards her ear and hoarsely whispered, "Do you understand?"

_Things come too easy, I get suspicious  
Things come too slow, I get bored  
If it don't work out I get superstitious  
But if it does, oh my word_

Before she could respond Jerry was thrown to the ground with Nikolas hovering over him, "if I ever see you lay your hands on her again, you will regret it" he said.

Jerry didn't speak as he got up and dusted his suit off and walked away. There would be plenty of time to deal with Miss Zacchara.

Nikolas walked over to her slowly, "are you okay…did he hurt you?"

Instead of an answer she smiled, "this seems to be a theme with us…us saving each other"

That garnered a smile and she finished, "you better watch out…I may start to like it too much"

For a couple moments he watched as she walked away into the night; then he turned back to the launch wondering what was it about Claudia Zacchara that had him like this.

Claudia walked to the building and took the elevator to the new Penthouse…as a child she never had fantasies about Princes and castle; yet somehow that changed when she met Nikolas Cassadine…suddenly fairy tales didn't seem so unreal.

_Same thing that's scrawled across the stars  
is written under our skin  
new horizon  
new horizon within_

_(New Horizon – David Gray)_


	2. July Falling Free

Pretending

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, I would have had it up sooner but I don't get my computer back until Thursday, ugh. Hope you enjoy, there has been a lack of Naudia on the show, grrrrr!**

July 2008

Pretending

It was an art she had perfected. Pretending that she could stand seeing Lulu's face across the breakfast table every morning, pretend that she didn't feel like she was so broken inside there was no use to trying to fix her. She would smile when a man's hands ran down her body and act as if she didn't feel Trevor's hot breath whispering in her ear, _"you're so pretty."_

Today she would pretend she wasn't sitting on her balcony above the park's Fourth of July festivities waiting for him to show. She had seen the ad in the paper, _"Emily Bowen-Quartermaine Clinic Hosts Fourth of July Carnival" _

_All of my senses overthrown  
By the might of your skin  
And the lamplight on your cheek bone  
Drawing me further in  
No sentence I can speak  
For the wonder so unique  
Breaking like a wave upon the shore  
Mercy me, I'm falling free  
Since you opened up the door_

That was him; the perpetual good guy...the kind of man a woman like Claudia Zacchara should never entertain thoughts about. Yet when the night turned black and she was too tired to chase the monsters away she felt his lips upon hers. It was silly; she was no replacement for the sainted memory of his dead fiancée. You didn't have to be in town long to here of the fairy tale of Nikolas and Emily. It didn't matter, fairy tales were shit anyway.

He looked on as the park took form. She would be proud of this, of him. Some mornings he woke up with his chest so tight he gasped for his next breath as the tears soaked the linens...but as time moved on; each day seemed to get a little more bearable. He couldn't pinpoint when it started, when the will to live came back but some mornings he would watch Spencer run along the beach, the wind flushing his cheeks and he knew that he didn't want to die. He wanted to live to see his child grow, to watch a new generation of Cassadine and Spencer's take shape, to see her face.

_And if every window pane should shatter  
If every wall should fall apart  
Well it might hurt a bit  
But would it matter  
This diamond in my heart_

It was crazy...wanting her...but the Cassadines had been prone to madness for generations. He was sure the inbreeding of the Russian royal family had caught up to them, but it didn't take away the need. They were foolish thoughts because he didn't fit in Claudia Zacchara's world...and even if he did, he would never love another woman after Emily...never.

The sun sat high in the sky as the rays hit her exposed skin. The red string bikini was her last purchase in Milan before coming to Port Charles. It reminded her of Italy, the white sand beaches, the glistening bodies, no one caring about whom you were or what your business was. Sometimes she missed the anonymity of things, no one knowing your name meant you never let them get close enough to hurt you.

_There's no need to nail it to the ground  
There's no need to smother it with sense  
Just listen to the rhythm of your heart  
That pounds and trust it all to chance  
'cause we're standing face to face  
With the Angel of grace  
And don't it just taste so pure_

She had stopped actively looking for him an hour ago but she managed to get up to turn over as he came to the park's entrance. He wasn't with Nurse Nadine as she had expected. Instead he held the hand of a little boy she could only presume was his son. Holding his other hand was a boy a couple years older with curly hair. It wasn't the children that glued her eyes to them. It was the pretty brunette with them. Her hair was pulled in a high ponytail showing off the creamy porcelain skin of her face. Garbed in simple jeans and a tank she looked the all American girl. Claudia hated her. Hated the perfect family photo they made, that she was the type of girl Nikolas was looking for, how she smiled at him, touched him with a comfort of familiarity...she couldn't stand it. Instead she found herself throwing on an outfit that was way too flashy for a summer picnic; Nikolas Cassadine, eat your heart out.

As soon as she came through a clearing of trees she heard a familiar voice, "Claudia, how lovely to see you" Ric said with a twisted smile on his face.

Rolling her eyes she stopped, "You steal someone's kid?" she asked her hands on her hips gesturing to the dark haired little girl he left on the blanket.

"That is my daughter Molly"

"Are you sure? Cause I don't see any horns, a tail, 666 on her forehead"

"Ha, ha. Claudia you are just a ray of sunshine...but might I ask, what are you doing here?"

He was exasperating her and she sighed loudly, "None of your damn business, so get out of my way" she said moving to push him.

"NIKKKKKOOOOOLAS!" got her attention as Ric's little girl squealed and ran to jump into the smiling man's arms.

"Well hello Miss Molly" she heard him say.

Ric turned as they approached a tense smile on his face, "Nikolas"

"Ric" he said.

The slight upturn of her lips was no longer something she could control around him.

"Claudia" he said the surprise in his voice evident.

"Fancy meeting you here" she teased forgetting for a moment her intention on coming here.

Molly crawled out of his arms, "Spencer!" she said seeing the little boy coming towards them.

Nikolas turned to smile at the approaching children and then turned back to Ric, "I thought Alexis and the girl's were planning a day on the water"

Watching Ric squirm gave her intense satisfaction and she watched the two men stare each other down during pleasantries.

"Kristina came down with a stomach bug so Alexis asked me to take Molly"

"That was very gracious of you"

Before he could respond he looked over Nikolas' shoulder smiling, "Elizabeth" he said a genuine smile on his face.

It was the brunette. Up close Claudia recognized her as a nurse from the hospital. The knot in her stomach tightened. Ever since she was a little girl her mother had said that she wore her emotions all over her face. Over the years she learned that people use your emotions to betray you, and she learned to mask them with a smile...false bravado, sex...and yet there was still a moment when it first hit her that her eyes clouded over. Quickly she masked them and studied the woman intently.

"Hey Ric" the woman answered a tentativeness evident in her voice.

Nikolas turned, "Elizabeth Webber, Claudia Zacchara" he said introducing them.

The woman smile brightly, "nice to meet you" she said the cherry sound in her voice enough to give Claudia cavities.

"Elizabeth is one of my oldest and dearest friends"

"Nice to meet you" Claudia muttered.

Ric jumped in, "Elizabeth is also my ex-wife"

Somehow that just made the whole story a lot more interesting.

"Daddy, Nikolas!" she heard the two little boys cry.

"Yes Spencer, yes Cameron"

They reminded her of Johnny when he was that age. So young, full of life and energy...before anything really jaded them. It made her heart ache to think of the light dying in their eyes the way it did her brother's. She may not believe in much but she prayed if there was someone up there, he or she wouldn't let that happen to another child.

"Can we have cotton candy?"

"Why don't you come say hello first and then we can discuss cotton candy"

"HI!" they cried waving at the small group of adults.

Nikolas shook his head, "that is Cameron Webber, my nephew and Elizabeth's son" he said pointing at the curly haired boy, "and that is Spencer, my son"

Rarely did she think children were beautiful, most often she saw them as a nuisance but Spencer Cassadine was darling. All dark brown puppy dog eyes and a flash of thick toffee colored hair and she found herself staring at him intently wondering if Nikolas had looked like him as a child.

_See how the sky is made of sapphire  
The colours flowing through our hands  
The moon is fire in your hair  
A million miles beyond what science understands_

"Well, it was nice seeing you two today, hope you enjoy the fireworks" Nikolas said nodding at the pair before turning to the little girl, "goodbye Miss Molly, I will see you next week for tea and riding"

"Bye Niky, Bye Spencer, By Cammie, bye Lizziebeth" the little girl answered waving.

"Nice meeting you Claudia…Ric" Elizabeth said before nodding and turning back to the boys.

Watching them walk away she chalked the day up to a complete failure. Nikolas didn't seem to notice in her in the slightest.

"Doe someone have a crush on Prince Cassadine" Ric asked the menace very much alive in his voice.

She rolled her eyes at him, "does someone have residual feelings for his ex-wife…seems to me she is pretty happy there without you"

Hurt flashed in his eyes, "Nikolas and Elizabeth are_ just friends_…she is his brother's ex-wife, mother of his nephews"

"Can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family, right Ric?" she shot back smirking at him.

Nikolas couldn't help but watch them from afar wondering why she was here with Ric…in that outfit. The top clung tight to every curve perfectly, her long legs hardly covered by the denim mini skirt. Ric was smarmy, a man who seemed to destroy everything he claimed to love…she deserved better then that, even if she didn't realize it.

_Smell that mountain heaven  
I don't remember ever  
Feeling like this before  
Mercy me, I'm falling free  
Since you opened up the door_

_(Falling Free – David Gray)_

The fireworks popped in the sky, and two peoples gazes met in a silent dance. Neither would let their mouth betray them…but their eyes, they were Judas every time.


	3. August Let The Truth Sting

August 2008

"If your father threatens any of my family ever again…I will be forced to tell Jason about you and your brother's involvement in Michael's shooting"

As soon as the words are out of his mouth he regrets them. He hates himself for putting that look in her eye…the one that lets him know that he has wounded her…he never wanted to do that, be another person in her life to make her feel that way…but in a strange way he hoped she could understand…understand what family meant.

_The hour is out of joint  
Black sun has risen  
And the river of words  
Is flowing on through  
The cages of tradition  
They're handing out emptiness  
We'll take it, cos it's given  
Free with this plastic innocence  
And these standards of living_

His words were worse then a punch in the gut, and she felt them stinging on her skin long after they were off his lips. She wanted to hate him for them, wanted to tell him off and walk away…but she understood the words too well. If anyone had threatened John she would do the same thing.

"My father will not bother your family again" she said before turning on her heel and walking away.

She would not reveal herself to him, to let him know that he could take a dagger to her heart that easily.

_Questions, lighted questions  
Burnin' holes into my head  
Hanging like shadows o'er the sun  
Staring out like the eyes of the dead  
And sometimes my soul flickers  
As the wind of change blows cold  
Over the mire of repetition  
Down the corridors of rigmarole_

As soon as she was gone he wished he could run his head into a wall. There was no reason to feel badly, no reason to hate that look in her eyes…he barely knew 

her…and yet somehow she had crawled up inside of him, and looking in her eyes was like looking into the darkest part of him.

She waltzed into Greystone like she owned the place announcing, "You, me, sex, now"

Sonny looked up from his paperwork but a very feminine voice spoke, "You will have to come back for that later, Sonny is otherwise occupied" Alexis Davis said walking through the door Sonny's daughter holding her hand.

Watching she saw his face light up, "Princess"

"Daddy" she responded her brown ponytail bouncing as she jumped into his arms.

Claudia watched as he twirled her around both of them matching dimples beaming back at each other, the sick feeling in her stomach almost overwhelming her as she ran back out of the door.

When she finally came to her building she slammed at the elevator buttons. The whole day had gone to shit from the start; she should have just went to Jakes and found some pretty guy to put her to bed.

The elevator dinged and she kicked off the red heels, ready to pour herself a brandy and wait until it was dark outside. Zacchara's were much like vampires, lurking in the shadows, thirsting for blood…why should she be any different.

Walking through the door she knew this wouldn't be the peaceful day she had hoped for.

His phone vibrated across his desk and he picked it up no recognizing the number, "Nikolas Cassadine"

_Do you find it there  
In the sea of faces  
That drowns you every day  
Or in the silence and rubble and empty spaces  
Where children and rottweilers play  
Is it buried in the praise  
Given so cheap  
With a meaningless movement of the jaws  
In the looking glass  
That flatters you_

"You need to come to my Penthouse, now"

She clicked before he had any time to question her, but the tone in her voice made him believe it was serious.

"What happened" she hissed after clicking her phone.

Lulu sat trembling on the floor, slowly rocking herself back and fourth. Johnny and Maxie exchanged a telling look.

"Tell me now" Claudia barked at them.

Maxie sighed, "Logan came in the office today all pissed and spouting nonsense…Lulu told him she was glad I slept with him, because she met Johnny…he finally left but when Lulu left home, he came back…and he started to say these things, and rip at my clothes…the last thing I remember was going across Kate's desk, and hitting my head…I remember Logan looking at me…and I was so scared…anyway I guess he stopped because he saw Lulu looking out the window…and he came after her"

_Blind circle, moon and sun  
Body willing, mind undone  
One pain ending while another begins  
Lies, ruin, disease  
_

_Into wounds like these  
Let the truth sting_

Rocking back and forth the blonde girl encircled her knees with her arms…Claudia just shook her head, girls like Lulu were trouble, she had tried to warn Johnny since the beginning. Then he went and fell in love…love was for suckers.

The knock on the door caused them all to jump in anticipation.

"Claudia it's Nikolas, open up"

Lulu's head jerked upwards hearing her brother's voice. Claudia walked to the door and Nikolas walked in slowly.

"You sounded urgent over the phone, is everything…what the…Lulu"

It was the first thing to get her off the ground, in a moment she was wrapped up in his strong arms…and as Claudia looked into his deep brown eyes…she knew a part of them was the same.

His hand stroked through her blonde tresses, hushed whisperings falling upon deaf ears…her sobs shook her small body and he remembered when she was a child…it seemed that they grow up so fast, and yet not nearly fast enough.

"Nikolas…I…I…killed him" she said through tears.

Nikolas looked to Claudia and she wished for a moment she could take it away for him, tell him it wasn't true…instead she shrugged sadly.

Maxie caught eyes with the prince, "Come on Lulu, let's go sit in Johnny's room" she said touching her arm.

_I feel it from the pit of my stomach  
Into the ditch of my mind  
Inside the chambers of my heart  
As I stare half blind  
At these walls of cardboard  
At this space that I've rented  
At your beauty that is crumbling  
Though you try so hard to prevent it_

"No, no, no" Lulu said shaking her still buried head.

Easing her eyes to look into his, "Lulu, go lie down…please sweetie"

Johnny stepped up, "Yeah come on Lu"

Turning to him she nodded, "O…Okay" she whispered.

He waited until he saw them disappear in the back of the Penthouse.

"What in God's name happened here?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Rubbing her hands over her face, "All I know is what you know…I come home hoping to relax and see your cuckoo for cocoa puffs sister crying over a dead body"

"Please do not hurl insults at my sister" he asked his voice steady.

Shaking her head, "Well you asked" she said matter of fact.

She watched his shoulder's sag…she had never seen him like this, even when he was injured he wasn't this vulnerable. She knew the feeling well…not knowing how to protect someone you love…someone who depends on you…it was enough to eat away at you inside.

_Through the borderline  
In front and behind  
Down the road of thorns  
Between the barbwire and the soul  
Bitters and chains  
Is all that remains  
Where the wheel has rolled_

"We should call the police"

"No"

"What?"

Their eyes met, "We can't call the cops Nikolas…Scotty Baldwin is the DA, and Logan's father…Lulu has a past history of violence towards him…he will railroad her"

Words seeped into his brain and when he looked into her dark eyes a part of him couldn't disagree with her…and yet a part of him could…couldn't agree with her because that meant he trusted her…and he didn't give his trust away easily.

"What are we proposing to do" he asked.

Biting her lips she wondered how it had come to this point…revealing herself to someone she hardly knew…it was against the code, against everything she had been taught…and yet she found the words spilling forth, "We have to cover this up"

"No, no, I won't do it"

The silence in the room became deafening as the two wills battled each other. Sounds of whimpers came from the back room as Maxie opened the door and walked out.

"She's really freaking out"

Nikolas nodded to the young blonde, "Thank you Maxie"

As she walked back into the room he once again stared into dark eyes, "Do you really think she is strong enough to handle this?"

Her words pierced at him, "Just trust me Nikolas, let me take care of this"

In a moment that would change his life he nodded, "I trust you"

_But here watching the night  
As it opens like a flower  
And the day starts to rust  
Feeling time pound  
Like a silent hammer  
On this empire of dust  
And I'm thinking about the bullet  
And the TV screen, the dollar, and the clenched fist  
And if we're searching for peace  
How come we still believe  
In hatred as the catalyst_

He took Lulu home, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest as she finally fell asleep. He thought of what his mother would say…he should have been able to 

protect her from this…but he had been exorcising his own demons and didn't notice the kind of trouble his little sister had found. He would make this right for her…make it okay, even if it killed him.

When it was all done she found herself on the launch the crisp sea air flapping her hair around. She hated that she had dragged him into this…,maybe her father had been right all those years.

"_Sluts like you destroy everything they come in contact with"_

Shaking the memory off she walked into Wyndamere. He stood there swirling around a glass of brandy. Coming up next to him they stood shoulder to shoulder.

_On and on  
Body willing, mind undone  
One pain ending while another begins  
Lies, ruin, disease_

_(Let the Truth Sting – David Gray)_

"It's done" she said.

"Is it ever really done" he asked.

Her hand touched his and he pulled her fingers in between his.


	4. September Dead On The Water

**A/N: My muse has been fickle with Naudia and for that I apologize. Hope this was worth the wait!**

**September 2008**

Johnny ran through the Penthouse door, "Have you seen Lulu?" he asked breathless.

Claudia looked up from her magazine and fought back a snide remark, "No…why?" she asked.

"You didn't hear the news…there was a fire at Nikolas' clinic, two injuries, they didn't say who" he said making his way to his bedroom.

She could feel the blood stop pumping through her veins…the clinic…Nikolas. In an instant she was up and pulling her shoes on, "Where are you going?" Johnny asked coming back out.

"With you"

"Why"

"Nikolas is my friend okay? What the hell, are you going to interrogate me or are we just going to go?" she asked.

He arched his eyebrow but chose not to fight, "Fine, let's go"

The anticipation was causing her stomach to flip flop and she sunk down in the seat of the muscle car hoping to quell her anxiety. She didn't know what it was about the Prince…the way he got under her skin, the way he slowly seeped into her life, making her care about him.

Her brother's phone vibrated against the center console, "Hey…Lu….yeah we we're actually on our way…me and Claudia…okay see you then" he said shutting the phone.

"She's already at General Hospital, they won't tell her anything yet" he explained.

A simple nod is the only response he got as her eyes found the trees outside the window.

"So, you really care about Nikolas?" he broached.

Her eyes stayed on the road, "He saved my life…twice, I owe him, and you know when I owe someone…I plan to repay it" she told him hoping to sound nonchalant.

Johnny let it go and her eyes closed. She couldn't explain put into words how she felt towards Nikolas…what she did know was thinking of him hurt had cut at her…she just wanted to make sure he was okay…she just wanted to make sure he was okay…she thought maybe if she repeated it enough times she would really begin to believe it.

Lulu met them in the lobby, "Nikolas is fine, or that's all they will divulge" she said annoyed.

Claudia left the two and decided to make her own rounds, "Excuse me" she said stopping a petite brunette nurse.

"Yes"

"Do you know where Nikolas Cassadines room is?" she asked.

"Down the hall to the left...203" she told her before walking away.

She made her way past the rooms and down the corridor. When she came to 203 it was empty. For a moment she thought about waiting but instead she made her way down the hall back towards the exit. Rounding the corner she heard his voice and she peaked into the room.

Nadine was lying in the hospital bed and he was sitting at her side, "Don't scare me like that, okay? I don't know what I would have done if something worse would have happened to you" he told her holding onto that pretty pale hand.

Turning on her heel she practically ran out of the hospital, down the back stairs and out to the parking garage. Flipping open her cell phone she dialed his number, "I need a ride home…now, I'll make it worth your while" she said before shoving it into her purse. _Stupid mistake…wouldn't happen again_.

Ric arrived in fifteen minutes, pissed off but there. She hoped in the passenger seat of the Jag as he peeled out of the parking lot.

"I was doing something important" he complained.

Her hand came to his belt buckle, "Don't you want to do something more important" she asked bringing her mouth to his ear.

He swerved before regaining his composure, "What the hell?" he asked.

Claudia let out a Cheshire cat grin, "Come on Ric, you want me…so have me"

Turning the corner he hit the gas down the main drag, "What changed your mind"

"Does it matter?" she asked running her hand up and down his thigh.

Shaking his head he smiled a lecherous grin, "No, it really doesn't"

They pulled up to his building and he parked in the structure, "You want to back out…do it now" he said challenging her.

She pulled the keys of the ignition, "What, you scared?"

Grabbing her wrist, "I'm not the one who should be" he said.

As soon as they made it through the door she was unbutton his shirt, running her hands down his hard abs. He pushed her up against the wall, literally throbbing against her. She pulled at his belt buckle, he stripped off her shirt.

"Ric, make it hurt" she told him before he turned her around and pinned her to the wall.

When it was done Ric lay sleeping on the couch. Claudia poured herself a scotch and looked out towards the night sky…she knew what she was good for and what she deserved.

_Late September_

He didn't know why he was here…but when Kate found out that Spencer was nephew to Sonny she felt compelled to invite him…and he with his Princely manners felt compelled to accept. Nadine was supposed to accompany him but at the last minute covered a sick Leyla's shift at the hospital. Walking towards the church he made pleasantries, shook Sonny's hand and made his way into the sanctuary. That was when he noticed her, smiling, holding Ric's hand…and it made his stomach churn.

It was exasperating to have a woman not know their worth…and it made his blood boil to think of a scum like Ric Lansing with his hands all over her body. Her eyes caught his for a moment, but she turned away and he took a seat on one of the pews.

His eyes bored holes into her…and she felt naked…and not in the cheap way…but in the way that made her feel like he could see her…the vulnerable little girl with her red sneakers on just looking for Daddy's love. She hated that…because to reveal her true self was to become vulnerable and she would never be vulnerable again.

_People stand in line  
People stand in line  
People stand in line  
A premonition of the killers angel eyes  
An Armageddon sky tell it like it is  
It's like the old man says  
We're dead in the water now  
Dead in the water_

The ceremony started and he tore his gaze from her watching the bride walk down the aisle. No one saw it coming; the solitary shot, but after it happened people went scrambling. Ric jumped under a pew and he jumped over one and tackled her to the ground shielding her body with his own.

_They come from miles around  
They come from miles around  
They come from miles around  
In avarice and love  
To suckle on the blood  
Of some forgotten god _

When nothing happened he slowly released her…her eyes wide, "Nikolas" she whispered but he turned away to make sure Alexis was okay…scrambling around the room to make sure everyone stayed calm.

Ric got up, "Are you okay?" he asked touching her arm.

She swatted it away; "No thanks to you" she said coolly walking out of the door.

_Sell it like it is  
It's like the old man says  
We're dead in the water now  
We're dead in the water now  
Dead in the water_

Everything that happened after was a blur in her mind…but this was the world they lived in…this was the risk you took to love one of them…that's why they couldn't let anyone good in close to them…it was like signing their death warrant.

"You don't seem surprised" Ric stated waking her from her thoughts.

Turning around her eyes locked on the man across the courtyard, "That is exactly why people in our business should never get involved with civilians" she stated.

"Because they're always targets of violence?"

Claudia shook her head, eyes still locked on Nikolas, "Because they don't understand that it's part of the deal. It's like the money. It's like the fear in people's faces when they hear your last name. It's just part of your reality. You're always in danger. There are people that are willing to kill you. So if something like this happens, you know, you get angry. You grieve. Maybe you get revenge, but you're not surprised"

_A simple act of faith  
A simple act of faith  
A simple act of faith  
A celebration of the colour and the creed  
The cancer and its seed  
Crackles on the mic  
Can call it what you like  
We're dead in the water now  
We're dead in the water now  
Dead in the water_

_(Dead in the Water – David Gray)_

There would be no surprises for her…she would never love someone she couldn't stand to lose…she would never bring a good man into her web.


	5. October The Kind of Man That You Are

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, hope there is still interest even though the show seems to have dropped them.**

"You will marry Sonny Corinthos"

Her eyes glowed with fury, "The hell I will"

Anthony simply smirked, "You will, because you want what's best for the family Claudia"

She glared at him, part of her accepting the truth of it all and part of her loathing that once again she was merely a pawn in her father's madness.

Grasping the handles of his wheelchair she knelt down to look him in the eyes, "Look here old man, you don't hold all the chips this time…this time, you need me…and that means things are going to change" she spit at him.

"You bitch, just like your mother, a power hungry viper" he growled.

Laughing she matched his gaze, "I am a power hungry bitch, but unlike my mother, I will get mine this time" she countered smiling.

"You…you" he sputtered before his body began seizing.

At first she thought it was him being melodramatic but as his head started punching against the back of the chair a bit of excited panic consumed her.

"Daddy" she asked worried, "Daddy"

His body continued to shake and she watched in morbid fascination as he struggled.

Johnny walked through the door breaking her trance, "CLAUDIA" he cried before running to the man, and "CALL 911" he ordered turning to her.

It was almost an outer body experience, picking up the phone, dialing the numbers, Johnny giving CPR. Everything seemed too slow, her senses dulled, her reactions sluggish. Eve as the paramedics ran in her stilettos stayed stuck to the parquet floor.

Johnny shook her as the stretcher wheeled out "Claudia, Claudia, snap out of it" he pleaded.

Shaking her head and pulling away she stared at him, "We could have been free John, we could have been free" she muttered her voice a strained whisper. Before he could respond she grabbed her keys and walked out.

OoO

"Daddy, Daddy, can we get hot chocolate for the launch?" Spencer asked a wide grin on his face.

It was the smile that he could deny nothing, the face that gave him back the will to live.

"Okay buddy"

"I can take him Mr. Cassadine if you want to wait for the launch?" Norma offered.

"Sure" he said offering a slight upturn of his lips. Sometimes he had to remember to do things like that…good manners did not necessarily translate into warm feelings to others.

His silence was interrupted, "What are you doing here?" she asked.

Turning around her coal dark eyes pierced him, "Waiting for the launch" he answered simply. He hadn't seen her since the botched wedding and he took a moment to stare. She was dressed in her normal black garb, tight pants, red boots, and a leather jacket hugged against her slim torso. Her tanned cheeks were flushed from the cold, her eyes somewhat vacant.

As soon as he answered she felt stupid. She hated being around him sometimes, hated that he seemed too look right through her, putting her on the edge. She craved control but with Nikolas it seemed to be something they volleyed back and forth.

"Should have guessed that, huh?" she asked trying to fake brevity.

_How can I decide what's right  
When you're clouding up my mind?  
I can't win your losing fight  
All the time_

His lips curled slightly, his dark eyes clouded in something else, and "Are you okay?" he asked revealing it as concern.

Her eyes travelled to the pseudo calm of the water, "I'm a Zacchara, when are we ever okay?" she asked her eyes staring at the red leather of her boots.

The pain of her statement reverberated in his chest; if only she knew how much he could related.

"MR CASSADINE!" bounced off the walls causing his neck to snap around.

There standing talking to Spencer was his grandmother and there was no thought, his legs moving from underneath him on instinct.

For a moment she stood confused but followed behind him swiftly. When he reached his son he looked to the nanny, "Go to the launch and take him home" he ordered as politely as he could.

_The truth is hiding in your eyes  
And it's hanging on your tongue.  
Just boiling in my blood.  
But you think that I can't see  
What kind of man that you are,  
If you're a man at all.  
Well, I will figure this one out  
On my own._

Grabbing Helena's arm he dragged her away from earshot of his son, "What did I tell you about even looking at him?" he asked his words scathing in delivery.

Smiling tersely Helena pulled her arm away and touched his cheek, "Oh darling, I don't know why you get yourself all riled up. I was only checking on my heir. He is a precious child too, those eyes, he does remind me so much of you at that age" she stated wistfully before a look of disgust came to her face, "But that dreadful name"

"You are to stay away from him Grandmother" he seethed though gritted teeth "Don't think I have just forgotten about last time. You may have found yourself safe now but I implore you that next time you may not fare quite so lucky"

To that she smoothed out her jacket, "Oh my child…you don't cease to be a disappointment to me…I don't intend your son to turn out the same way" she added before turning to walk away.

Nikolas sighed in worry and relief before turning to Claudia. She had watched him in twisted interest as the darkness clouded his eyes and he threatened his own grandmother.

_But you think that I can't see  
What kind of man that you are,  
If you're a man at all.  
Well, I will figure this one out  
On my own._

His gaze hung low seeing the surprise in her face; "Now you know why I told you we were not that different" he told her walking back towards the launch.

When he left she rushed across town.

"Where have you been?" Johnny snapped as she made her way into the lounge area of the hospital.

Looking around she turned back to him, "Where is your shadow?" she asked.

"What?"

"Lulu, why isn't she here? Or is she still too" she said clicking her tongue and rounding her ear with her finger.

"That's not funny, our father is in life saving surgery, and you want to harass my girlfriend"

Rolling her eyes, "He is not going to die" she answered before muttering under her breath, "I'm not that lucky"

"Claudia"

"Anyway I just have some questions for Lulu about…you know what never mind" she said sashaying away.

Taking the elevator to the main floor she came to the Nurse's station, "Excuse me" she inquired to Elizabeth Webber.

"Yes" she answered looking up from her paperwork.

"So, your friends with Nikolas, right? What do you know about the Cassadines?"

Elizabeth's pretty features twisted in confusion, "What?"

A voice from behind interrupted, "The Cassadines are whack jobs"

Turning around she saw Carly with her hands perched on her hips.

Claudia grinned, "Oh yeah?" They sound like my type of people" she teased, "What else can you tell me?"

"Besides the fact that Helena kidnapped my best friend before she gave birth to Nikolas' kid because she planned on taking him for herself…because when that didn't work she snatched him from a church Christmas program, that's not even bringing up Stavrosicle, or the time she tried to kill Emily and Nikolas threw her off the cliff and ended up in prison. That was only one of the times she has faked her death. Like I said…whack jobs" she finished before the elevator opened and she left.

For a moment she let it sink in and then turned back to Nurse Webber, "Is that all true?"

Liz's eyebrows raised and she shrugged before turning back to her charts

_There is something I see in you.  
It might kill me.  
I want it to be true._

_(Decode – Paramore)_

It was a moment of clarity…a realization on why she felt akin to him…he knew what it was like to have to fight for survival.


	6. November Alive

**A/N: ::sigh:: I miss Tyler and Sarah on screen together, I guess they too will have to live alive only in my dreams. Thank you for reading and reviewing! **

November 2008

"Okay, I'll do it…I'll marry Sonny, Daddy" she said it without thinking, the words tumbling off her lips.

Anthony smiled lecherously, "I knew you'd think of the good of the family, I am so proud of you Claudia"

His words, a backhanded comment of sorts made her want to be sick and smile at the same time. She knew it was twisted, the need for his approval after the way he had treated her over the years. The second he got home from the hospital he was hell bent on the partnership with Sonny and for the first time she was actually valuable to him…and she couldn't help but feed off of it.

Sonny walked through the door, "We do this tonight"

Turning in his wheelchair Anthony grinned, "Shall I call my Priest or are you getting one from your local parish?"

"There's gonna be no priest, the Justice of the Peace will be here at ten" he said before turning around to walk out, Anthony trailing him.

Johnny stepped out from behind the door, "I can't believe you are letting him pimp you out like this" he spat angrily.

Her hands outstretched to touch his arms, "John"

He pulled away from her, "You want his approval so badly that you are willing to throw away every shred of self respect you got left and marry that piece of shit?"

"It's for the family…it's for you"

"Don't feed me that bullshit, I DON'T WANT THIS" he growled.

Looking away he started to walk out of the door and then shot her one parting glance, "I love you too much to destroy yourself"

"John" she begged one last time before the door slammed behind him.

She looked at her watch…three hours and she'd be Mrs. Corinthos.

OoO

The wind had chilled to near freezing and he thrust his hands in his pockets to keep them warm. The fog had rolled in over the bay and the launch was stuck on the other side until it started to clear.

"So you always lurk in the shadows?"

It was strange the way her voice had the ability to dive under his skin and crawl up his spine

"Says the woman who appears from the fog" he said, his eyes still locked ahead of him.

She crept next to him at the railing, "Wouldn't it be easier to move to the mainland and away from that castle you call a house? Although I guess it fits with the whole Prince thing you got going on"

A small smile began to upturn his lips, "I like my house…it's been in the family for years, you must understand that"

Sighing, "Have you ever done something your family wants, even when part of you is screaming that it's wrong?" she asked.

_I see  
So much beauty  
Hidden way beneath your skin_

Finally he turned to his eyes to look at her, the tremble in her lips more then the cold weather.

"It never works" he answered.

"Yeah?"

"You can't serve two masters"

"I'm marrying Sonny tonight"

_You say  
You ain't pretty  
Not in any place that counts  
But I am blind to all that you doubt_

There was sadness in her tone and a sense of finality, like someone accepting imminent death.

His hand slid across the railing, "You don't have to do this"

_It ain't perfection for which I would die  
It ain't just somebody that's made me feel alive_

Part of her wanted to rip her hand from the warmth of his touch, to turn herself off…too stop feeling again…but the other piece of won out…the one that longed for his warmth to thaw her, to make her feel like she wasn't half dead all the time…at least for one perfect moment she wanted to be alive.

_You know why he wants you  
But I ain't the same as him  
I look a little further within  
Your life has had some long night  
All those tears I wipe away  
Just close your eyes and hear what I say_

_(Alive – Gareth Gates)_

"Yes I do" she whispered hoarsely the air stuck in her chest.

"Claudia"

The horn from the launch blasted and she pulled away from him, stumbling back into the darkness.

"Until we meet again" he muttered, it falling on deaf ears.

OoO

"Oh come on honey, it will be fun" she said a grin on her face.

She had been Mrs. Sonny Corinthos for exactly one week…but she wasn't going to turn down an invitation from his father to Thanksgiving dinner. Especially because she was sure Connie from the block received one too…and rubbing her big fat ring in her face was all kinds of fun.

Sonny groaned as the limo pulled to the brownstone, "Come on" he grumbled.

Linking her arm in his she rang the doorbell, "Aw come on this is going to be fun" she teased.

A familiar red head answered the door, "Sonny, it's nice to see you" she said warmly, "I know your dad was happy you accepted the invite"

For the first time in a week there was an honest smile on Sonny's face, "Thank you for inviting us Bobbie. Have you met Claudia" he said introducing them.

Bobbie smiled, "It's nice to meet you Claudia, I'm glad you can join us" she said warmly.

"Bobbie is Carly's mom. Her and my pop do the combined Thanksgiving to ensure the grandkid is always there" he joked.

Claudia could only nod in response. She started to regret this already….she had never expected it to be so…warm. This was real family, people who cared about one another, Thanksgiving meant something to them…the concept was a foreign one.

They walked to the living room were the game was on the big screen television. Claudia recognized a menagerie of people…from the cop Lucky to her brother's girlfriend. The nurse was there too, and some kids running around the house.

Liz smiled at Sonny, "Hey Sonny" she said ignoring Claudia.

He waved to everyone in response, "Sit, please" he said beckoning to a chair; "Would you like anything to drink?" he asked like he was in pain.

"No, thanks"

"Alright I'm going to go talk to my Pop" he said leaving before she could protest.

"Hi Claudia, I'm Lucas" a handsome blond man introduced himself.

She smiled flirtaciously at him, "Hello Lucas"

"Don't try that on him, he's gay, he's immune to skank" Lulu said snotty.

"Lulu!" Lucky scolded.

Her eyes narrowed, "What? Johnny wouldn't even come because she has the nerve to act like she belongs here" she burst out, "You know what, I'm out of here" she said grabbing her jacket and stalking out the back.

Lucky made a move to get up and Sam placed a hand on his arm, "Come on, she was looking for a reason to go, let her work it out"

As he sat down the doorbell rang and Claudia's eyes trailed to the incoming guests.

"Hi Mama" Carly greeted giving Bobbie a hug.

It was who was with her that made her bite her lip to near blood.

"Oh Nikolas, I'm so glad you came and brought Spencer!" Bobbie said excitedly.

Claudia watched with a scowl as Carly touched his arm, "I dragged him along" she teased and he smiled.

"Yes, your daughter can be very persuasive, if you hadn't heard"

His dark eyes met hers across the room and he simply nodded in acknowledgement before his brothers, cousins, friends were hugging him and wishing him well. She didn't know how he did it…balanced the darkness with the light.

Carly walked down the hallway and Claudia conveniently stood at the edge waiting for her to come back out.

"What do you want?" she asked annoyed an eyebrow arched.

"So you steal Princey from Polly Pocket?" she asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"Huh?"

"Nikolas, I mean, good for him, and you I guess, you seem to score all the billionaires in town"

Biting her lip Carly fought the urge to laugh, and when the wheels started to turn in her head, "You know Claudia, sweetie, if I wasn't mistaken…your brown eyes just turned very green" she said before laughing and walking away.


	7. December: Happy New Year

**A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing. It's nice to know that there are others who saw the squandered potential between these two. I miss them. **

"Wait, where are you going?" Claudia asked as Sonny grabbed his coat off the rack.

Turning he scowled, "What?"

"It's Christmas Eve, you're not going to just leave your wife home alone, are you?" she asked annoyed.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm going to the hospital, they have Santa who reads the Christmas story to the kids, you can come if you want" he said looking at his watch.

"I thought you'd never ask" she said smiling, "Let me grab my jacket" she said turning towards the stairs.

As soon as she turned around she rolled her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was spend the holiday with him…but she wasn't letting him get off easy. He was getting the world handed to him on a platter, and she was no side dish.

OoO

"Whoa, what's up with the extra security?" Carly asked as Nikolas and Spencer walked into the lobby of the hospital.

Nikolas nodded to Spencer to run to a waving Cameron, "Helena's been lurking around town" he said once his son was out of earshot.

"Oh"

"Yes, so until I can shuttle her out of the country"

The elevator dinged and it wasn't something he could explain the way the air seemed to grow thick whenever she entered a room, or the way his stomach tied up in knots seeing her draped on Sonny's arm like she was his newest accessory. It wasn't jealousy, or maybe a part of it was…mostly it was looking at him and knowing that he didn't realize who she was, the fragility under the hard exterior. He would end up destroying another piece of her just as the other's before him.

He took her breath away. It was lame and something she would never admit aloud…but it was there, every time his dark eyes stared intently at her. It wasn't like all the others, looking at her, picturing her naked. It was like Nikolas saw the naked already…and not in the biblical sense. He could look right through her to the little messed up girl in dirty red sneakers. She went back and forth on wanting to push him away or be close to him.

"Daddy, Santa is coming!" Spencer said excitedly to which Morgan chorused in, "SANTA"

Carly smiled at him, "Ah, Merry Christmas" she said as they walked together, him shooting one last parting glance at the raven haired woman across the corridor.

OoO

"DAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY!" Kristina yelled as soon as she caught one glimpse of her father.

Tearing across the room she flung herself in his arms, "Princess" he said pulling her to him.

Alexis walked up slowly, "Claudia" she said tersely, "Sonny" came with more warmth in her voice.

Letting her go he looked at her closely, "Gah, my girl is growing so big, before I know it she will be asking for a car from Santa"

Leaning in, "Daddy, Santa's not real, but we pretend for Molly" she told him.

Claudia couldn't help the smile that came to her face. It made her want to kick herself…since when did she become soft for some bratty kids?

Sonny turned to her, "We're going over there, you can do whatever you want" he said before taking Kristina's hand as she drug him towards the monstrosity of a tree. Alexis followed and she couldn't help but remember that this was a family thing…and she was not family.

OoO

The chandelier lights shone sparkles at every angle of the Metro Court ballroom. The end of 2008, everyone in Port Charles dressed to the nines. Sonny was left at home, a wet blanket she was not going to let ruin her good time. The black cocktail dress was strapless and clung to her like second skin, the red strappy stilettos tied halfway up her calf and matched perfectly with the ruby earrings. Grabbing another glass of champagne she sashayed across the dance floor. Johnny had taken her for a couple of spins around the floor before Lulu dragged him off, Ric and even Jax had filled her dance card. The night was young, the champagne was flowing and she was going to enter 2009 with a bang…hopefully not the lead filled kind.

OoO

It wasn't exactly his scene, the whole New Year's Eve party but after buying into the hotel he thought he owed it to Carly to show up and pretend he was having a good time. All in all it hadn't been too bad. Carly had drug him out on the floor a couple of times….he was sure it was most likely a ploy to make Jax jealous but it had been awhile since he had held a woman close. Now he stood at the bar nursing a brandy watching the crowd. Lulu blew him a kiss from the floor and he smiled and gave a nod. Elizabeth danced with Matt Hunter, Lucky and Sam, Carly and Jason…and it seemed as if everyone had sort of paired off as the clock counted down to midnight. That's when he saw her, those coal dark eyes beckoning him.

OoO

Maybe it was the champagne lowering her inhibitions, or the atmosphere of the night…but the moment she saw him across the floor, the amber liquid swilling around the crystal glass, she wanted him, wanted to loose herself in his tanned skin, the pink lips, the rock hard of his abs…and she stared a couple long moments before crooking her finger and hoping her followed.

OoO

The rush of cold air hit his face and he saw her perched against the railing, "Hey there Prince" she said grinning.

"You beckoned?" he asked.

She walked towards him, her hands playing with his tie, "Where's your date?" she asked.

His eye brows knitted together, "What are you talking about"

"Carly"

That made him smile, "Carly is my business partner, my friend, not my date"

"Oh"

From inside the countdown could be heard, "Ten, Nine, Eight"

A finger came up to brush a strand of hair from her face and her eyes shined up at him.

"Seven, Six, Five"

She licked her lips as her finger traced his bottom lip.

"Four, Three, Two"

"Happy New Year's Claudia"

"Happy New Year Nikolas"

"One"

Everything else faded as his lips met hers, softly, a sweet kiss as their lips tangled together, stealing each other's breaths. His hands came to her face as it deepened as he pushed her warm back against the cool of the wall, his torso melding with hers, his tongue parting her lips, hands tangling in her hair. Her arms wrapped around his muscular back, one leg twisted around his legs attempting to pull him impossibly closer.

As he pulled away she could feel her lips swollen and plump, a breath caught in her chest. He ran his finger along her cheekbone, "Happy New Year"


	8. January: Protect Her

**January 2009**

The fog had rolled over Spoon Island like a blanket, thickening as it came inward. It was much like the night he had found her on the cliffs. They had come so far since then and yet they still seemed to always find themselves right back at the same place. She had disappeared after their kiss on New Years Eve…left his mind swirling, and vanished in a cloud of smoke. He tried to push her to the back of his head but even now small things like the fog, the taste of brandy on his lips or the sweet seduction of darkness lurking in the shadows.

OoO

"Congratulations on living another day darling"

Shutting her laptop she fought the bile that rose into her throat. She had been afraid to leave the house for days; too scared that Sonny would wander upon one of those discs. He would kill her if he did but worse then that he would hurt Johnny. That was something she couldn't risk…dragging someone she loved down with her. It made her think of two brown eyes that made her feel like she was something other then a monster. If he were another man, a lesser man like Ric or Sonny, she wouldn't have thought twice about trapping him in her web…but not him…not her Prince.

OoO

Sitting at the Metro court bar he watches as Lulu excuses herself from the table she and Johnny share. When she does he walks over to him, "Johnny" he greets.

"Nikolas"

Taking the seat he looks at the younger man, "I'm not going to beat around the bush but I was wondering is Claudia okay?"

The young mans eyes glaze and his jaw clenches, "Who wants to know?"

Trying not to become annoyed he places his hands in front of him to appease him, "I know you're fiercly protective of your sister, and I admire that…because that is exactly how I feel about Lulu"

One mention of her seems to soften him and Nikolas continues, "But I care about Claudia; you may not want to hear that but it's the truth and I am concerned about her"

His eyes seemed to grow even darker, "There's reason to be"

It's all he can say before Lulu joins them. Nikolas kisses her cheek and shakes Johnny's hand, "Nice to see again"

OoO

He had almost made it out the door before the grating accent interrupted him, "Oh Nikolas" Jax said taking strides to catch up with him.

"What?"

A grin comes to his face and Nikolas wishes sometimes he didn't have the manners of a Prince, "I wanted to talk to you about our little Spoon Island project"

"Will you let it rest; you are not taking Spoon Island"

"I already did" he answered.

Sighing Nikolas looked at him intently, "I am a Cassadine and no one takes what is ours" he said through gritted teeth before turning and leaving the hotel.

OoO

Her phone vibrated across the coffee table and she snapped it open, "What?"

"I'm great, how about yourself Claudia"

"John"

"Yeah, listen Nikolas was at the Metro Court"

At first sound of his name her breath catches and she scolds herself for it…for having any emotional attachment at all…that alone is like asking for imminent death.

"He's worried about you and frankly so am I"

If she closes her eyes she can almost picture his dark eyes lit with worry, concern…like the first time he found her washed up on the cliffs of Spoon Island…or when Jerry was threatening her on the docks. She's not use to it…anyone but Johnny and maybe Uncle Rudy giving a damn about her…and she knows she likes it too much…but she can't get use to it…because as soon as she does it will be snatched out of her hands…and she can't risk it again.

"What'd you tell him"

"I told him there was reason to be"

"Why the hell did you go and do that"

"Because he gives a damn about you Claudia unlike that piece of shit you're married to…maybe he can talk some sense into that thick skull of yours"

"Whatever Johnny" she said flipping the phone closed.

Throwing the phone on the couch she opens up her laptop and listens one more time.

OoO

He hates to feel powerless. He hates that she is up behind that gate with a man who doesn't give a damn about her carrying around a secret that will get her killed. She doesn't need protecting…it's what she has said from the beginning…she doesn't need a Prince, or a white knight, or no fucking hero. She is not a damsel in distress.

Maybe that is what draws him to her…because she doesn't need him…she doesn't care that he is a Prince, she doesn't want to be the sunshine to his gothic heart. All he knows now is that he will protect her at all costs.

OoO

Third down…three to go….

"Hello Darling"

OoO

"I need you to investigate something…Jerry Jacks; I know but they never found a body…I am just no sold on the fact that his reign of terror is actually over. Thank you"

"Why are you researching Jerry Jacks?" comes from a familiar voice.

Turning around he offers a tight lipped smile, "Lucky"

"Seriously Nikolas; he is dead, we should just let him remain that way"

It is something he can't understand, "I would love no more for that to be true but I have reason to believe that Jerry's nefarious activities can haunt us from the grave"

"What's going on, did Jerry do something to you"

"No"

"Then who"

"Lucky, it's doesn't matter" he said before turning, "I have to go; maybe we can continue this discussion later"

OoO

These riddles of him make no sense…and it seems hopeless…but to give up is to accept a fate much worse…that of cement shoes and dead brothers so she keeps listening hoping that something he says will trigger some realization. Milo pops his head in and she offers a fake smile, "Hey there handsome"

"Um Miss…Zacch…Corinthos…Mrs. there is someone to see you"

Johnny…a sincere smile lights her face, "Send them in"

OoO

Something is wrong; he can read it all over her face…he would guess she hadn't slept in days, "Claudia, or should I call you Mrs. Corinthos"

OoO

There is a part of her that hates his eyes upon her…hates that he can look right through her, "What do you want?" she asked sounding less gruff then she had hoped.

"To help you"

"I don't need your help"

"Yes, well you have stated that time and again…you think maybe I just don't give a damn anymore"

Infuriating…and she can't decide if she wants to hit him, hug him, kiss him or a combo of all three. He doesn't get that caring about her is shit…that she would sell him up the river to save her own ass…right

"Fine, you want to know so bad?" she says before spilling the story.

His face becomes somber, "You can't stay here"

"And where the hell am I suppose to go"

"He will kill you"

"Let me protect you"


	9. February: Safety

**A/N: Sorry it took so long. Hope you enjoy!**

**February**

The jet is eerily silent as they travel over the aqua colored water. It seems surreal in a way and she wonders if she might suddenly wake up from this dream back in Greystone with a noose slowly tightening around her neck.

"Is it done?" he asks picking up the jet phone, "Yes, thank you" he says before his eyes reach hers once again and she feels the warm blanket of safety envelope her.

_"What do you want?" she asked sounding less gruff then she had hoped.__"To help you"__"I don't need your help"__"Yes, well you have stated that time and again…you think maybe I just don't give a damn anymore"__"Fine, you want to know so bad? The hit…the one that went bad, the one that…hit Michael" she starts her voice trembling in her throat, "It was something that Jerry was involved with…and he's not dead, and he's blackmailing me"__His eyes seemed to darken with fury and she watched him hold it in as his jaw tensed and she continued, "He hid DVD's here, all over the house. Each one has a clue to find the next and each one divulges my involvement in the shooting"__He's never seen her look as fragile as she does now with her wide eyes glassy with unshed tears and her lip slightly trembling as she speaks. It's a side of her that makes him want to take her in his arms and pull her to his chest. He doesn't…because he knows that she hates being weak. __"How many discs have you found?"__"Three"__Nodding he pulls out his phone, "Lucky, I need a favor…I need you to arrest Sonny and as many of his men as possible…I can't tell you, but it's important…okay…thanks" he said hanging up and dialing again. This time he spoke in a language she couldn't understand but what she did know was that he was trying to protect her and she wanted to let him. __After he hung up he looked into her eyes, "We need to go…now, so please go pack"__It wasn't an order but she stood there in stunned silence before shaking her head, "I can't"__Moving closer he kept their gazes locked and then brought his hands up to cradle her face, "You trust me?" he asked his voice hoarse with a menagerie of emotions. __"Yes"__"Then please go pack…now"__There was something darkly seductive about the way his voice dropped octaves and he looked at her with worry, desperation and hunger in his eyes. It was enough to make her turn around and go to pack. __When she came down he was in the living room with what looked like a group of ex-Navy Seals, "Claudia" he greeted, "This is Dmitri" __Nodding she let him keep speaking, "He and his team are going to sweep the house for the discs and then they are going to destroy them" he told her calmly, "The car is waiting to take us to the airport where the jet will fly us to Greece…to Cassadine Island"__"Okay" she said wishing she could find words to argue with him; to tell him this was a mistake…but she can't…because she really doesn't want too.__He gives the orders to the men and then picks up her bag, "Are you ready"__Her eyes are widened and a small smirk is on her face and he shrugs, "What? Did you think you were the only one with connections?" he asked trying to lighten the somber tone in the house. __"Nikolas"__Touching her arm he shakes his head and she watches as he swallows the lump in his throat, "I care about you and I'm not willing to let anything happen to you"_

_It makes her want to cry, the look he gives her…like she's worth more than a pawn in the game. She doesn't deserve it but she wants it, too bad to tell him to go away. _

Forty-five minutes later the jet takes off and she picks up the phone, "John, don't freak out, but I had to leave town"

They land in Athens where a helicopter picks them up to fly them to the Island. She's quiet but he knows that she silently watches him with a slight smirk on her face. Here, he is the Prince, and the people treat him as such. He's glad it's entertaining to her because it's a chore to him.

He knows this is crazy. In his head he can rationalize all the reasons he shouldn't be stealing her away, becoming protective over her…but it's his heart that betrays him. They've only had moments, little glimpses of time but he feels closer to her than he has to anyone in what feels like forever.

As they climb out of the helicopter the compound comes in sight and she stops for a moment. His hand unconsciously touches her back and it seems to set a fire on the skin under her black leather jacket, "This is too much" she says tensing.

His lips come to her ear, "Please trust me" he whispers.

And she does…as stupid, crazy, foolish or reckless as it is…she trusts him.

Four Days Later…

"Where the hell are you? Sonny has everyone looking for you" Johnny hissed into the phone.

Hearing his name made her stomach knot, "He hasn't hurt you John, has he? Do you need me to come home" she asked feeling a surge of anger under her skin.

"Nah, he's actually kept his distance, Jason leashed him. Are you okay? Where are you?"

Walking towards the window she watches Nikolas do his morning Tai-Chi, his muscular tanned limbs moving slowly and deliberately. At his feet was Spencer, who had arrived that morning, mimicking him before falling to the ground in a fit of giggles. A small smile formed on her face, "I'm safe John, that's all you need to know"

A sigh escaped his mouth, "Stay that way"

"I intend too"

"Good" he said with a small chuckle, "I love you Claudia"

"I love you too John"

OoO

She didn't come out until breakfast was being served. Spencer being there had her feeling uncharacteristically nervous. She knew how fragile a child could be and she had never felt like she really belonged around them.

Taking a deep breath she smiled, "Hey Spencer"

"Hi" he chirped happily.

"Whatcha got there?" she asked.

"Oladi" he said happily scooping a bite into his mouth.

Nikolas looked over his coffee cup at her, "They are like thick pancakes, his favorite"

Smiling she sat down and pulled some on her plate, "Do you have syrup?"

Nikolas' eyes widened and Spencer giggled, "We don't put syrup on them" he said giggling.

That made her smile wide, "Oh yeah well what do we put on them?" she asked.

He grabbed a small glass container, "I like jam but Daddy likes honey" he told her.

"I like jam too"

In response he smiled and then went back to happily eating. Nikolas simply stared at them amused and she smiled back feeling her heart swell. For long she didn't think she had one, or that it was a block of ice…but whenever Nikolas was around she started to feel defrosted.

Spencer babbled during breakfast and they both kept their conversation at a four year old level. When he was done he popped up, "Papa, can we go riding now" he asked, "PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSE"

Nodding Nikolas stood up, "Okay"

Turning he looked at Claudia, "You want to come" he asked tucking his hand into Nikolas' and holding his other out to her.

Warmth flooded her body and she knew she should say no, "Yeah" she said placing her hands in his.

She didn't belong her, in this life. It was a stupid idea to get comfortable here, to imagine it being anything more than it was…but for a moment before she remembered she couldn't stop herself.


	10. Spring: Dawning of New Life

**A/N: So the muse fought me on the last chapters of this. I know one was suppose to be for each month but she wasn't biting. However, this is March-June done in more flashback snippets. This is where it ends, thanks everyone who read even when I neglected this story for too long. And reviews are love so thanks in advance!**

**The first time she _made love_ was in a castle with a Prince. **

_This years love had better last  
Heaven knows it's high time  
I've been waiting on my own, too long  
When you hold me like you do  
It feels so right, oh now__  
_  
**June 2009**

A warm summer breeze blew in from the Mediterranean as she stood on the edge of the water staring at the fishing boats finally coming in for the night. She couldn't see the tanned faces of the men but she could imagine the ache in their bones after that kind of work, she could feel the exhaustion because it was the same thing that settled inside of her.

"Claudia"

_Start to forget how my heart gets torn  
When that hurt gets thrown  
Feelin' like I can't go on.  
Turnin' circles time again  
Cut like a knife, oh now_

His voice was like warm honey, caressing her skin, sticking to her sweetly...making her feel like she wasn't the trash she knew she was.

"Go away Nikolas" she said hoping he didn't hear the obvious tremble in her throat. Hoped that he didn't know that the last thing she wanted was for him to go away. She figured it was easier this way, push him away before he chose to leave her. Because he would choose to leave her...everyone did.

_If you love me got to know for sure  
Cuz' it takes something more this time  
Then sweet, sweet lies, oh now  
Before I open up my arms and fall losing all control  
Every dream inside my soul_

"No"

Turning to him she felt the tears pool and did nothing to stop them. He claimed he wanted this, said that he wanted all of her. Well then she would give him all of her, "Seriously, is there something wrong with you? I am not that woman you keep around your kid, okay? You don't know me Nikolas; you don't know what I'm capable of" she spat.

_When you kiss me on that __midnight__ street  
Sweep me off my feet  
Singin' ain't this life so sweet?  
This years love had better last  
This years love had better last_

Dark eyes deepened in frustrated anger as his jaw tensed, "I don't know you Claudia? Tell me what I don't know about you. That you are capable of lying...check, stealing...check, murder...check. I know you Claudia and that's what scares you the most...is that I know you and I still love you"

Those words again, "No you don't" she said shaking her head.

_Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn  
When that hurt gets thrown  
Don't you notice life goes on  
Won't you kiss me on that midnight street  
Sweep me off my feet  
Singin' ain't this life so sweet_

_(This Years Love – David Gray)_

Coming towards her he cupped her cheeks and brought her eyes to his, "I love you Claudia, I love you and I am going to keep telling you until you believe me.

Fighting back a sob she wondered how she got here.  
**  
March 2009**

She sat in the window watching Spencer play outside with the puppy she had brought home one day from a trip to Athens. Sure, the house staff wasn't too pleased but every boy should have a dog and since she couldn't do that for Johnny, she did it for Spencer.

He had won her over; not that she would admit that to anyone. He was like a little grown man in a child's body but they were bursts where he would show his age...she liked those bursts because no child should have to grow up fast like she had, or Johnny and Nikolas. He deserved to be a kid.

Nikolas came in the room. She knew it before she looked; it was this uncanny way she could feel him there crawling under her skin, "He named him Apollo" he told her.

A smile came to her face, "Better then Hades" she remarked.

Over her shoulder he handed her a thick envelope. Furrowing her brows she shot a glare at him, "What's this?" she said wondering if he had finally wised up.

Kneeling down he looked into her eyes, "Annulment papers, all they need is your signature"

There was a warmth that filled her body as she stared at him like he had three heads, "How?"

Shrugging he smiled that little boy smile that broke down another wall around her heart, "I told you, you're not the only one connected" he teased.

It was then she admitted to herself her feelings towards him.

**April**

"Claudia! Wake up, Daddy got you a present" Spencer exclaimed jumping on her bed.

Opening her eye she groaned, "What time is it?"

Spencer shrugged as he plopped down, "I dunno, but Mrs. Landsbury made oladi and she made special pomegranate jam" he said very matter o' fact, "And Daddy got you a present"

"What is it"

To that he made the motions of zipping his lips, locking them and tossing away the key. She shook her head exasperated, "Alright kiddo, I'm coming"

He hopped off the bed and scampered towards the door before turning back to her, "But you better hurry young lady, oladi is not good cold" he scolded.

Laughing she climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top throwing her hair in a haphazard ponytail. Rubbing her eyes she wandered towards the dining room and then she saw it and her legs couldn't move quick enough, "JOHHHHHHHHHHHHNY!" she yelled practically tackling him.

Chuckling her wrapped his arms around her tightly, "I've missed you Claud" he whispered.

"I've missed you too" she said pulling away and studying his face, "What? How"

Nodding with his head he looked to Nikolas who was smiling. Looking from her brother to Nikolas she shook her head, "But how...I mean I'm sure Sonny has people watching for you"

Clearing his throat Nikolas spoke, "That is why the Cassadine jet with Johnny and Lulu on it is landing in Caracas right now"

A lump in her throat formed, "Thank you" she mouthed and he nodded. Then she turned back to her brother, "God, you don't know how good it is to see this face" she gushed.

Later they walked on the beach, "So?"

"Dad's been locked up, institutionalized; he lost it with some nurse that reminded him of my mother. Sonny, he's pissed and was even more livid when he received the annulment papers but Jason kept him reigned in...now, he's moved on...with the DA"

That made her laugh, "Alexis Davis? I knew it!"

Smiling he shook his head as she lie her head on his shoulder, "Jerry's gone Claudia...someone took him out. No one is fessing up to it; the police don't have any leads and it wasn't any of us"

Pausing she looked at the house and then looked back up into his eyes, "Nikolas promised to protect me, and he has"

They stood for a moment and he looked down at the ground and then back up to her, "You love him?"

Trying to mask her feelings she waved it off, "Nikolas? I mean we're...." she tried but she could never really lie to Johnny, "I don't know...what I feel for Nikolas; it's not like anything John...and it's scary"

Wrapping his arms around her he kissed her hair, "Love usually is"

**May**

"What is this?" she asked as Nikolas led her to one of the five billion spare bedrooms that was filled with racks of clothing.

"You need a dress"

Turning to him she scowled, "What?"

A wry smile came to his face, "The National Archeological Museum of Athens is having a benefit, I would like you to attend with me"

For a moment her stomach flip flopped and she struggled to answer him, "I mean if you don't want"

Shaking her head she put on that fake smile, "No, dressing up, a night on the town, who wouldn't want" she said hoping to sound like she didn't think this was a date, and that it didn't scare her.

"Good"

OoO

The dress wasn't exactly her style but it had been so beautiful she couldn't help trying it on. It was straight and black with one one strap and it fit her body like a glove. The neckline had a decolletage of silver jewels that extended onto the strap over her left shoulder.

Going through the boxes of shoes she found a pair of strappy silver heels and pulled them on. A knock came at the door, "Come in" she called.

A small lady came in, "That dress looks magnificent on you" she exclaimed surveying her, "Mr. Cassadine sent me to do your hair and makeup"

For a moment she paused as the lady bustled around her, "Uh...okay"

An hour later she looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't recognize herself. The hairdresser had pulled her hair away from her face sweeping it up in some sort of quasi french twist as her bangs swept across her forehead. Her skin looked dewy, her coal eyes shimmery and she wanted to rip it all off and hide in the closet.

She didn't deserve this; why didn't he realize that? It would make everything so much easier, "Mr. Cassadine is going to love it" the lady cooed.

Fighting back the bile in her throat she bit her lip, "Yeah thanks"

Against her better judgment she went downstairs looking for him. She spotted him before he saw her. His hair was freshly cut, trimmed close to his tanned skin. The tuxedo made him look even more handsome, even more Prince-like. Clearing her throat she waited until her turned. She was pretty sure that it was the closest she would ever feel to a perfect moment.

"You look beautiful" he said sounding slightly breathless.

It was a reaction she craved and yet hated at the same time, "Thanks, it's easy when you have professional help" she said hoping to sound flippant.

Shaking his head he turned around and grabbed a velvet box, "I think this would go perfect" he said opening it to reveal a sparkly diamond tennis bracelet.

Before she could refuse he was clasping it around her wrist. After he had finished he offered his arm, "Ready"

"Sure"

There was a helicopter waiting for them, it was surreal, and she knew she shouldn't get use to this...this wasn't her life; it wasn't the person she was...but she wished it was.

"Mr. Cassadine with such a bewitching escort" a man crooned taking her hand and kissing it.

She almost let out a chuckle until Nikolas looked at the man seriously, "Yes, she is" he said before looking at her with that intensity that made her remember the one kiss they shared on the terrace of the Metro Court.

When it was done he led her down to the cobblestone path that ran next to the water. Moonlight lit up the streets and bathed their bodies in soft light. His hand gently held hers and it seemed to a direct link to her rapidly beating heart.

"Did you have fun?" he asked breaking the silence.

Chuckling she smiled, "Oddly, I did...it was fun watching you work a room?"

"Me, I think you were the one garnering all the attention in the room"

His words weren't said like others she had heard and dismissed before him; his were sincere…honest, something she had not really become accustomed to. He was changing her; making her more vulnerable, opening up the wounds she tried to hide.

Slowly he stepped forward, "Nikolas stop" she pleaded still not moving.

Soft hands caressed her neck coming to cup her cheeks before he kissed her with such sweet intensity that ripped and clawed at her insides. She didn't deserve this, he shouldn't be kissing her but she couldn't stop it…not when it was the most right feeling in the world.

Pulling away he looked at her, his dark eyes shinning and she turned away out of his embrace. She hated when he looked at her like that, like she was worthy of his time, of his generosity. They didn't belong in each others worlds, "Nikolas don't…just…don't" she ordered as the boat pulled up to the dock and she turned walking towards it.

He stood there in stunned silence for a couple of long moments before he followed her on his face fallen. It was better that way; better that she hurt him now than destroyed him later.

**June 2009**

Roughly she pulled away from him choking back her sob but feeling the hot wet tears run down her face. Why couldn't he see this was a bad idea; that loving her would ruin them both.

Shaking she felt his hands come to her arms the soft satin cooling her skin, "Tell me you don't feel the same Claudia; turn around and tell me you don't love me too and I'll never bring it up again"

Turning around she prepared herself to tell him what he needed to hear. The problem was that he looked right through her. Even if she lied through her teeth, he would know, "Nikolas I don't…" she paused, "I can't love you, why don't you understand that? I ruin everything I love and I would want to die if I did that to you"

There was so much emotion in his eyes as he stared at her, "He was wrong"

"Who"

"Your father…Trevor…whoever made you believe that you were some curse to everyone around you. I was walking around half dead before you showed up in my life Claudia…and you made me want to live again"

Her hands trembling she ran them through her hair, "STOP IT" she screamed, "STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU"

Closing the distance between them he wrapped his arms around her cradling her to his chest, "Never" he whispered into her hair, "Never"

When their eyes met she couldn't stop herself from letting the dam break and watching as her emotions spilled over them. Crashing her mouth upon his she kissed him like she would die without it. Gently he pulled her to him sweeping her off the ground as he carried her to the house.

It was something that would forever be burned in her mind…the way he touched her softly, kissed every part of her skin, and the way he held her after like she was worth as much as those jewels locked in a safe.

Maybe they would destroy each other in the end…and yet again, maybe they save each other too.


End file.
